I am 43 years old today. Had you told me a decade ago, or even a year ago, I never would have believed I would live to see this day. The illness and pain that surrounded me for almost 20 years has evaporated into the touches of flame that color the summer sunset. I won't say there aren't still scars, but they are no longer a reminder of what almost defeated me, but rather marks of what have made me who I am. I've finally come to the realization that loving myself means loving ALL of me; the good, the bad, and the abundant traces of scalpels that have cut me through and through, only to be healed by the grace of God.
My blessings are too abundant to count. My faith, my family, my friends. Today I have been enveloped with love and well wishes for a great day and wonderful year. Traditionally, we get to make one wish on our birthday, and as I reflected today, I decided that my one wish for what's yet to come is HOPE. Through all my ups and downs, there was always a firefly of hope flitting through my soul, allowing my spirit to hold on when my vessel was doing the opposite.
Every night on the news, I see the World suffering. Parents are losing children to all types of violence. The loss of a child is unfathomable. It is unimaginably painful, earth-shattering and soul-crippling. I pray we can find a way to save the young from such tragic endings. Adults are taking their anger out with bullets. I have lost a loved one to suicide by gunshot. It is horrific and sad. I pray we can get control of the violence. Part of the Earth's lungs are burning. I know what it feels like to breathe fire-like pain and gasp for breath. If I could, I would muster all the air in my now-healed lungs and blow out the Amazon like one big birthday candle.
I close my eyes and imagine HOPE penetrating the sadness, the despair, the tragedy, the crises. My wellness means everything to me, but without the wellness of the World around us, what can we expect in the years to come? God's grace is infinite, but without hope, the scars will only continue to amass. So in the spirit of a new year full of rebirth, I give my birthday wish to our world. I'm learning my worth, finding my pride and nourishing my spirit. So I'm paying forward my candle of HOPE to all that surrounds us.
My Nana always told me that peace begins from within. May every ounce of energy in this great Universe surge with peace, as this life is far too precious to be saturated with such sadness and tragedy. There is always the opportunity to begin again. I've faced the end more times than I care to count, and I fear it no more. What I DO fear is facing a future with no future. Find the firefly of hope within yourselves and be part of the change with your one shining light.
To all those of you who have made me feel so special today and who have supported me through it all, thank you for your love. And a special note to JM.... you know who you are. Infinite blessings on the next chapter, a brand new Virgo to carry the torch you and your wife have so bravely lit with your love. Thank you for guiding me as I navigate this new journey and for never giving up on me.
Your beauty still amazes me, Jessica! I am honored to be your friend. Your strong soul continues to comfort, inspire and nourish others. I love your birthday gift to the world and I join you in your effort to spread light and hope! Happy Birthday sweet friend! Hugs! Patti
ReplyDeletehappiest of birthdays
ReplyDelete